


love love love

by loullee



Series: rey x rose [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, F/F, Presumed Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-13 14:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loullee/pseuds/loullee
Summary: "You have to leave. Right now. Please," she said, and Rey immediately obliged, dropping her hands and standing up.Rey looked at the floor again and whispered a broken "I'm really sorry," before walking away.Rose tucked herself into a ball at the end of her couch, closing her eyes and evening her breaths. She just wanted to wake up already.





	1. Rose

It had been 7 months, 23 days and 12 hours since Rey Skywalker had been assumed dead after a failed mission to assassinate the infamous Kylo Ren. 7 months, 23 days and 19 hours since the last time Rose had seen her alive. And 6 hours ago, the man who had killed her was ambushed and killed by the rebellion, which Rose knew should make her relieved since justice had finally been served for her friend, but as she lay in bed, clutching Rey's old badge in both hands, her eyes burned with unshed tears and she felt her last remaining piece of strength flicker and die.

She had spent months holding out hope that maybe Ren had held her friend captive. Her body was never recovered and Rey was one of the toughest people she'd ever worked with. And one of her closest friends. Now, that hope had dried up, Ren's base ransacked and Rey nowhere to be found. Her badge was all she had left.

She felt empty.

 

Rose woke up early in the morning, making herself a cup of tea in an attempt to start off her day well. She hadn't had a day off in months, and although she'd rather forget the reason that she had this one, she was determined to make the most of it.

As she sat down on her couch, careful not to spill her tea, the hair on the back of her neck stood on end and her years of training kicked in. Someone was standing a few metres behind her. In her apartment. So much for a relaxing morning.

She leaned forward to put her cup on the table in front of her, and carefully reached under the edge of the table to pull the knife she had taped there. Just as her hand brushed against it, the person cleared their throat.

"I really hope you're not going to pull that knife on  _me,_ " they said.

Rose stopped breathing as the owner of the voice registered. Rey.

Taking a deep breath before her hands started to shake, Rose realised what was happening. It was another dream. She'd spent almost every night since she'd disappeared dreaming of Rey. The fact that it wasn't a nightmare for once caught her off guard, but now that she knew, she could calm down.

She turned around slowly, watching as Rey nervously cleared her throat and dropped her head to stare at the ground. "I'm so sorry, Rose," she said, and carefully walked around the couch to it next to her.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence.

"Why are you here?" Rose asked, used to scenes of gunfire and mayhem, never a quiet morning in her apartment.

Rey didn't seem to understand her meaning and the look of guilt on her face grew worse. "I missed you?" She said, almost like she was asking permission. Rose sighed. She may as well not risk this Rey leaving, and another more dead Rey turning up.

"I missed you too," Rose said. "I just don't get why you're here now."

Next to her, Rey looked at risk of starting to cry. Rose almost felt guilty for hurting a figment of her imagination. "I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't have a choice. But I wish I hadn't hurt you in the process. I'll leave if you want," she said quickly, clearly scared that she wouldn't be forgiven. Rose knew she'd forgive her for anything if she had the chance.

The offer to leave made panic spike in her chest. But she also felt a sense of relief. Maybe she could finally have some closure, and move on. But she didn't want her to go. Not yet.

"No. I wanna hold on a little longer. I've just really, really missed you ya'know?" Rey grabbed her hand and Rose choked a laugh. "I forgot how warm your hands always were. And how it felt to talk to you. And your eyes." Rey would never approve of this. Reminiscing about a ghost. "I was really in love with you." She laughed again and shook her head at herself. "You've probably heard this a million times, but you were the strongest person I knew. I guess that's over now."

She looked up at Rey's face and saw a mixture of confusion and shock, and suddenly it hit her that this really wasn't her Rey. She would never have been this surprised. And it wasn't like the real Rey was coming back anytime soon.

"You have to leave. Right now.  _Please,_ " she said, and Rey immediately obliged, dropping her hands and standing up. 

Rey looked at the floor again and whispered a broken "I'm really sorry," before walking away.

Rose tucked herself into a ball at the end of her couch, closing her eyes and evening her breaths. She just wanted to wake up already.

 


	2. Rey

It was still early morning when Rey arrived at Finn and Poe's front door. She had stood there for a few minutes in an attempt to look like a bit less of a mess when suddenly the loud, high pitched barks of their dog came from the other side, and the sound of someone walking towards her vibrated through the floor. 

Rey held her breath as the door swung open, revealing a tired looking Finn standing jaw dropped on the other side. The stood staring at each other in silence for a moment as Rey anticipated the slamming of the door when Finn broke the silence.

"Poe! POE! YOU NEED TO COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" He yelled over his shoulder, before pulling Rey into a bone-crushing hug. Her eyes refilled with tears as the familiar scent of her best friend washed over her. God, she missed hugs.

Rey squeezed her eyes closed and listened as hurried footsteps came for the other end of the hallway, and let out the breath she'd forgotten she was holding as she heard the familiar sound of Poe Dameron letting out a whoop as he ran over to wrap his arms around the both of them.

"Skywalker! Where have you been? We missed you!"

The three of them walked into their apartment as Rey began to explain everything, and Finn and Poe both stayed holding onto her hand throughout, scared that she might disappear if they didn't.

"I didn't have a choice. He threatened to hurt you guys if I lived. I'm so sorry. I get it if you don't want me to stay."

Finn let out a sound of indignation at that. "Of course we want you to stay, you just got back! I'm just confused about Rose's reaction, it doesn't seem like her to be mad about this. It doesn't matter though, because there's no way she'll hold a grudge, she never gave up hope that you'd survived somehow."

Rey took a shaky breath, unconvinced. "I didn't tell you all of it yet. She said something just before she told me to get out."

They waited patiently as she struggled to get the words out.

"I was in love with her, and because of me disappearing, I ruined any chance of anything happening between us."

Finn and Poe exchanged a look, unsurprised.

"What makes you think you don't have a chance?" Poe asked gently.

Rey quickly wiped the fresh tears from her cheek and sniffed. "She said she was in love with me. Past tense. I actually had a shot with her, and now I've blown it." 

Finn's grip on her hand tightened and he sighed quietly. "She probably said a lot of things she didn't mean. Besides, you'll always have us, don't worry. For now, though, you really need to rest. You look exhausted."

She was then ordered straight into their spare bed as Poe went to make her some hot chocolate, and Finn fed their dog. Rey burrowed into the soft, thick blankets and shut her eyes, willing away the events of the morning.

Maybe sleep could fix this.


	3. Rose

Rose woke suddenly, her body filled with adrenaline for no apparent reason, and her neck stiff from sleeping on the couch. Her eyes slowly focused as she woke up with no memory of falling asleep there. She got up, picking up a stray mug of tea and went to the kitchen to pour it out as she tried to remember what had happened. 

As the cold tea rushed down the sink, Rose jolted as the memory of talking to Rey jumped into her mind. Which meant she remembered what had happened the night before.

Fingers turning white as she held onto the counter next to her, Rose did her best to steady her breathing, waves of panic and grief washing over her. She placed the mug down into the sink with a shaking hand and went back to curl up on her couch.

As she slowly tried to relax, she heard a key turn in her front door, and Finn called out from the hall.

"Rose! Are you okay? You haven't been answering your phone I just wanted to che–"

He stopped as he spotted her lying in the fetal position, and quickly came over to sit next to her.

"So, I'm guessing you're not okay?" Rose shook her head. "Okay. Do you want to talk about it?" She nodded. "Alright."

Sitting up, Rose leaned heavily against her friend.

"I've just spent so long mourning her. I don't know what to do."

Finn nodded. "I get that. It's a lot. But it's not like she really had a choice."

Rose looked sharply at him. "I know she didn't have a choice. That doesn't make it hurt any less."

"Okay. Sorry. That makes sense."

Rose nodded, staring at the table in front of her.

"Rose?"

"Hmm? Sorry, I just got... distracted."

Finn frowned in concern. "Okay. Is there something wrong with the table?"

Rose shook her head. "No. It just feels like there's something missing."

"Don't you usually keep it clear? I mean after you got sick of spilling tea on everythin–"

"That's it! TEA!" Rose jumped off the couch and hurried to the kitchen, Finn close behind her.

"What are you talking about? Are you alright?"

Rose stood at the sink, brandishing an empty mug triumphantly.

"This should have been on the table. Or it... shouldn't have? I don't know there's just something weird about it, I remember–"

She stopped short, staring into space, arm frozen midair, as a look of increasing fear passed over her face.

"Rose?" Finn asked softly. "Is everything okay?"

She turned to him, looking scared. "Do you believe in ghosts?"

His concern mounting, Finn took Rose's hand, trying to understand what was happening. "I... don't know? Why?"

Rose took a shaky breath. "I just... this morning I think I saw Rey. I thought it was a dream. But I was holding this cup. And I didn't make it last night..." 

"Oh, no. Rose. You saw her?" Rose nodded, eyes glistening with tears. "Rose. She came to see me too. And Poe. She's sleeping in our spare room right now, we thought you knew?"

Rose looked up at him, lip trembling, and shook her head. "But she's dead?"

"No, she was trying to protect us. She had to lie. But now Kylo Ren's dead, so she came back."

"I thought it was a dream. I... I told her to leave!"

Finn sighed. "I know. She told us."

"I have to see her. Right now."


	4. <3

Rey and Poe were sitting in the kitchen when BB-8 began excitedly barking at the door. Rey glanced over, heart rate spiking as she momentarily thought of Rose.

The sound of Finn’s key turning the lock brought her to her feet, as she quickly made her way to the entrance, anxious to hear what he had learnt. The door swung open, and Rey's stomach dropped as her eyes landed on Rose's face.

The two stared at each other for a moment, before Rose rushed forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Rey, causing her to stumble slightly before she tentatively returned the embrace. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, turning her face against Rose's neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her old friend. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Rose nodded. "I know. I didn't mean what I said this morning."

"I understand if you're mad at me though! You have every right to hate me. You don't need to lie."

Rose pulled back, looking at her with an intensity that Rey had missed. "I promise you, I didn't mean  _any_ of it. I just didn't realise it was actually... you."

Rey took a shaky breath as she realised what she meant. "You thought I was..."

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Her eyes welled up quickly as she tried to keep her composure.

"God, I'm so sorry Rose. I don't know how to fix this?" Her voice cracked, and she shook her head helplessly. "You deserved so much better."

"No! You don't need to fix anything, and this isn't your fault okay! Besides, even if it was, I'd forgive you. It's enough that you're here. Safe."

Rey looked at her incredulously. "How?"

Rose cupped her hands around the other girls face, wiping a stray tear away with her thumb, before resting their foreheads together, both closing their eyes and breathing into the bubble of warmth that they were both desperate to keep intact.

"I'd forgive you for anything."

Rey inhaled quickly in disbelief at her words, before Rose pressed their lips together, and any doubts flew out of her mind, as she lost herself in the gentleness of her love.

Maybe they could have this.


End file.
